Glucosamine makes you taller

I read some reports that glucosamine is supposed to make you taller, so being considered a runt in my family I started to take it. Note, I understand that lots of people are shorter than me but this pill was worth a shot anyway. I was insecure about my height because my dad put stuff on high shelves. Moreover, I started listening to metal, the music of insecure people. I took 3000 mg of glucosamine sulfate daily and was able to get taller by around 1.5 cm over the course of 6 months.

Right now I can walk down the street and see that I’m much closer to the average height than before. I find that making manlet jokes about myself now falls flat. Moreover, I can reach the top bar on public busses. This makes life much more convenient because I can take public transit more easily. I noticed that I could see a little better at concerts as well. My quality of life has certainly improved since I started this megadose of glucosamine.

People can make manlet jokes all they like, but not being able to reach the top bar of transportation sucks hardcore because all the short people are now bunched in the middle section while other people can spread out along the sides of the bus or train and make use of space during rush hour. It’s not about wanting to be “6ft” or a “baller”. Being 6ft also has major disadvantages regarding fitting into certain busses and trains.

BTW, vegans out there, glucosamine is no longer made of shellfish shells because so many people are allergic to it.


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